Linda is a great Christian woman. She is a devoted wife and mother of three beautiful children, two boys and a girl. She’s not perfect, of course, but she always tries to be positive and encouraging, even when on the inside she’s a feeling down or worried.
Her love for her family is apparent to all who know her. She always tries to make sure everyone’s needs are met, whether it means giving up some of her portion at meal time because someone wants more, doing an extra load of laundry (as if she doesn’t do enough laundry) because somehow her youngest two end wearing a couple of different outfits a day, cleaning up and kissing boo-boos, or keeping a smile on her face as she sings along with her four year old’s favorite devotional song…for the third time in a row!
Linda has always tried to be open with her children and reassures them that they can talk with her about anything. However, one day five years ago while folding laundry and tending to her, at the time, nine month old baby girl, her oldest son walked up and out-of-the-blue asked, “Mom where do babies come from?”
Caught off guard, Linda felt her heart-rate skyrocket and after a few moments of stuttering finally replied, “That’s a great question to ask your daddy when he gets home.” Then, with an empty pit in her stomach, she left the room to change her daughter’s diaper. Just the thought of talking to her son about things pertaining to sex and sexuality made her uncomfortable. After all, no one had ever talked with her about sex growing up.
Unfortunately, in the busyness of the day Linda forgot to tell her husband and based on her reaction, her little boy concluded that it must be bad topic, so he never brought it up again.
I’ve talked with and surveyed parents like Linda before and when I ask them what keeps them from talking with their kids about sex I hear a lot of the same things. They’ll say things like:
“I just don’t know where to start. My parents never talked to me about any of this stuff.”
“What if I say too much and put ideas in their head?”
“I’m afraid they’ll start asking me about my sexual experiences and if I've ever made any sexual mistakes.”
The common denominator in these and similar statements is FEAR.
FEAR is a BIG reason parents aren’t talking to their kids about sex. Many are afraid of all the potential things that could go wrong OR they feel inadequate, like they're not qualified enough.
Parents, I’m here to tell you that YOU CAN do this! God made you the parents of your children for a reason. God gave you your children because he believes in you. He believes that YOU are the best person for the job of raising. If he didn't think you could do it, he wouldn't have put that child under your care. God wants you to train them up and teach them which way to go (Proverbs 22:6), especially when it comes to their sexual development.
I know you can do it because there are great resources available to help AND because the Bible says:
I firmly believe the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8: "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." So when it comes to teaching your children biblical sexuality, be strong and courageous and put your trust in GOD. Trust that HE can lead you to the right information and resources that can help you start where you’re at and start talking with your kids about sex today! (Joshua 1:9; Psalm 56:3-4)
Can you relate to any of this?
What is the #1 fear you have when it comes to talking with your kids about sex?
I’d love to hear from you and so would other readers. No one likes to feel like they're all alone. I know for a fact that you're not alone, so please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Jonathan is the Founder of Right Time Right Talk, a ministry dedicated to teaching parents how to become THE experts with their children on God's gift of sex. He has been educating parents and youth for over 11 years about healthy sexuality and the dangers of pornography. He's been married for 15 years and has 2 children. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Mental Health Service Provider designation (LPC/MHSP) in the state of Tennessee and a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) by the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC). He is also a proud member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). For over 9 years he has served as a Mental Health Counselor for the University Counseling Center at Freed-Hardeman University, a private liberal arts university located in Henderson, TN.